Top 7 Most Amazing Gummies

7. Giant Gummi Worm

While my childhood dreams were populated by gummi bears as large as a small dog, it did not serve as a home to these monsters.  They are 26 inches long, 5 inches around, weigh 3 pounds apiece, and cost about 28 bucks.  Looking at them, I imagine they are also useful in preventing home invasions or, conversely, performing a home invasion.

6. Giant Gummi Skull

It�s available in 11 different flavors.  It�s life size.  It will fill your children with terror and make the fat Goth kid down the street your new best friend. It�s a five-pound gummi skull, and I think most people would agree that if Nicolas Cage had been sporting one of these as a head, Ghost Rider would have been 20 times shorter and 1000 times more watchable (hint: sugar and fire have a short, spectacular relationship. (other hint: his head would have melted.))

5. Gummi Fetus

�uhh�hmm�well�no, I can�t.  It�s just�I just�No.  I can�t.  The next one is actually less disturbing.

4. Gummi Dead Rat

For a lot of us, the gummi rat was the first �giant gummi� we ever encountered.  Frankford Candy & Chocolate Company decided that in order to make a truly complete Halloween treat out of the gummi rat, it had to be caught in a trap, all smashed and bloody.  Kudos for not conforming to PC standards and really sticking it to the man.  But I have to admit: this could be made out of ambrosia from Mount Olympus itself, and I would have a hard time taking a bite.  Plus, what is that in its mouth? Did it bite a piece of cheese before meeting its maker, or did it barf on itself in its death throes?  Considering the amount of blood, I am going to have to go with death-barf.

3. Gummi Haggis

After gummi fetus and splattered rat, why not a butterscotch-flavored gummi version of the meal that tells the rest of the world �don�t screw with the Scotts; we eat this crap because of a long tradition of doing things to scare the English the hell out of our country�?

2. Gummi Legos

Finally, something not awful and scarring.  This is actually incredibly cool; the gentlemen over at Instructables made these crafted silicone molds out of real Legos, and made the gummies out of Jell-O and Knox gelatin.  So I guess, technically, they are more like Knox-Blox Legos, but who cares?  You could build a house, an airplane, or a space ship, and then eat it all as part of pick-up time.  Remember that candy dream I mentioned?  It totally should have had gummi Legos.

I couldn�t find pictures of anything actually built with them, but I can only imagine it was equal parts fabulous and delicious, and the FDA says you can never have too much of the former.

1. Giant Gummi Brain

We had a gummi skull, and you can�t have skulls without brains, right?�I might not have thought that through very well.  At any rate, this bubblegum-flavored brain weighs in at about 6.5 pounds.  I doubt it would do much to distract zombies from eating your own precious grey matter, but the number of calories in it�isn�t very encouraging.  If you�ve seen Zombieland, then you know how the chunkier people fare in a zombie apocalypse.  But it looks cool, and that�s the most important thing, right?

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